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AMUSING STORIES
Rude surprise for Beckham
David Beckham has been ambushed by a female TV reporter who tweaked his groin as he gave an interview. The star looked shocked and immediately backed away after the stunt by Elena Di Cioccio, star of satirical show Le Iene, reports the Daily Telegraph. The former England captain, who is on loan to AC Milan, was giving an interview outside a hotel when Ms Di Cioccio bent down and squeezed him between the legs. The stunt was supposedly a test to see whether Beckham measured up to his photo in Armani billboards, in which he shows off his physique in tight-fitting underpants. As security guards closed ranks around the midfielder, Miss Di Cioccio chased him down the street yelling "E piccolo, Beckham" ("Beckham is small"). Beckham climbed into a black car but she ran around to the driver's seat in which he was sitting, shouting: "You've taken us for a ride! How could you? David!" Beckham was being interviewed by a second blonde television presenter when the stunt took place. Asked what he liked about Milan, he said in English: "Everything. People have been incredible to me around the city."

Adultery billboards spark Facebook campaign
A Facebook campaign has been launched to try to stop an extramarital dating service from advertising its services in the UK. Churchgoers launched the group, 'Stop marital affair.co.uk advertising publicly in the UK', after the Advertising Standards Agency refused to intervene. Jon Kuhrt, who works for a Christian charity in London, created it after the ASA declined to act on his complaint about a billboard in Merton which read: "Hello girls. Get instant excitement at maritalaffair.co.uk." The advertisement, which featured a picture of a man with no shirt on and a bra slung over his shoulder, was for a website which claims to deliver "uncomplicated adult fun" for "bored housewives looking for a bit on the side". The website's homepage says: "Marital affair delivers a dating arena for those looking for adult dating and extramarital relations. Sexual needs are there to be met and sometimes life is better when the complications are left at the door." In an ASA letter reproduced on the Facebook page, Mr Kuhrt is told the agency will not act because the advertisement does not offend against "widely accepted moral, social or cultural standards". The letter adds: "Whilst not everyone will agree with the advertiser's service, the poster's content and presentation were not explicit and it was unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence or be seen as irresponsible." On his Facebook page, Mr Kuhrt highlights the "trauma and suffering caused to individuals and communities by the damage of affairs and the breakdown of relationships they cause." Members of the group, which already has about 2,300 members, have been urged to e-mail the ASA to register their disgust. One user said: "This is a sick world and agencies like this will only make it sicker. Complaint has been filed. Very glad to be able to do something that is positive."

Woman found oven glove in her toast
The baker of Hovis bread was fined £750 after a woman in Northern Ireland found part of an oven glove in her toast. The victim had begun to eat it before she noticed the shreds of hessian-type cloth, reports Metro. Herefordshire-based Hovis makers Premier Foods was fined £750 at Omagh Magistrates' Court, in County Tyrone. District Judge Greg McCourt imposed the fine and ordered the company to pay court costs of £85 after it had earlier pleaded guilty. A spokesman for Premier Foods said: "We go to great lengths to assure the quality of our great British brands but on this isolated occasion we have fallen short of our usual high standards and apologise for any distress caused to the customer."

Dennis de-menaced
The BBC has been accused of turning Dennis The Menace into Walter The Softy. The Beano's bully has been banned from using his trusty catapult, water pistol and peashooter in a new cartoon series. He is also no longer allowed to pick on geeky Walter and will not be slippered by his dad as a punishment, reports The Sun. And Dennis's dog Gnasher will no longer sink his teeth into people's backsides or engage in his trademark wanton destruction. In the new series, which launches next month on CBBC, Dennis has been 're-imagined', with his menacing scowl replaced by a charming boyish grin. The Sun quotes an insider as saying: "Dennis can't be seen to use weapons and giving other kids grief in a BBC cartoon. The BBC doesn't want to be accused of encouraging children to be violent." But the move has angered purists as the comic, which launched in 1951, still has Dennis getting up to his old tricks. Jim Stewart, 64, of Salisbury, Wilts, who has been reading the comic since its launch, added: "It's ridiculous. Dennis is supposed to be a little bit edgy and a bit of a loveable rogue." And Mark Turgoose, 10, of Sheffield, said: "The cartoon sounds a bit silly. I want to see Dennis like he is in the comic, not boring like other cartoons."

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